April Blog Press Conference Transcript

The Rambler:  Okay, once again we are gathered here so that I may go ahead and tell you about the direction of the blog for the month.  I do want to start out my statement by saying that there will be an adjustment to how the blog will be set up.  Monday will have a comedic one centered around a situation and the inappropriate use of something for it, whether it’s a situation that could be described in a sentence that is done into a short novel, a mundane happening described like it was a type of genre movie, etc.  Basically playing around with how we describe the real world that is around us.  Wednesday or Thursday, depending on the situation, will be a more serious one devoted to the topic for the month which for April will be emotion.   As it is said the April rains bring the flowers of May, so too do the emotions we feel bring us to new ways of understanding, or perhaps even not at all.  Then other random stuff as I see fit from time to time.  Okay done. I’ll now take some more questions that I’m sure you’ll have for me.  Okay, you in the red hat.

Brad Spence:  Okay the one in the red hat would be Brad Spence from the New York Times.  My question to you is will this then be the format of the blog for awhile now?  It seems like you change formats faster than your cat when he hears a can of cat food opening.

The Rambler:  Okay, I’m going to disregard the little snide comment from you there and just say that yes, this will be the format for the foreseeable future.  If it changes, I will let you know.  Oh and also Mr. Brad Spence, the next time I hear you say something about me like that I swear I’m going to kick your lousy a…sking someone else to give their question now.  Yes, you in the front middle there, go ahead.

Pamela Figueroa:  Pamela from the Birmingham Telegraph.  Are we to assume that this random stuff you speak of will actally happen and if so, could you tell us what kinds of things we should expect?

The Rambler:  ….Ah yes, it is happening and no, I can’t tell you what it will be because its, oh, I don’t know…..RANDOM!  As in not really planned out.  As in you are going to have to wait and see.  As in, not going to need to say Spoiler Alert because it isn’t going to be spoiled.  As in…okay well you get the idea now I apologize for going off like that.  Still…next question.

Mike Girt:  MIKE FROM OLD YELLER WEEKLY.  SERIOUSLY CAN YOU GET BETTER ACOUSTICS IN THIS PLACE OR SOMETHING IT IS SERIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING!

The Rambler:  HEARING AIDS!  SERIOUSLY!  NOT HARD TO GET THEM!  GO TO YOUR LOUSY HEARING APPOINTMENTS!  CLEAR AND LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU!  NEXT…I mean next question.

Terri Stiefer:  Terri from the Weekly Monthly.  Where’s the bathroom?

The Rambler:  ……Seriously?  How is it…you guys are here more than me, and yet you don’t know where it is and rather than look for it, you ask an official question to me asking where it is.  You are literally standing next to it.  There is a neon sign saying bathroom that you had to look at when you were walking in here.Okay, well you have officially caused me to now call last question as I need to go lie down for a bit.

Frank Tophlin:  Yeah I’m Frank from Twitter.  Can you explain to me why you have once again gone back to this old “press conference” trope thing?  I mean the joke the first time you did it on the blog was ok, but really.  It’s done now.  It’s not funny or clever.  Why can’t you come up with a different way to announce each month what you are doing?

The Rambler:  #takeaflyingleap you lousy @douchebag.  Also your question was over 140 characters so unlike you I’m following rules. #booyah

 

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