100% Truth

In the interest of full disclosure, I would like to stipulate for the record that what you are reading is real.

Yes, everything you will read is 100 percent the truth.

It seems, at least to me, that human beings as a whole, would likely classify their relationship with truth as being…well…complicated.

After all, the truth is extremely important.  And we are mostly truthful.  But, I mean absolutely 100 percent truth told every single minute of every day?  Who does that?  Most people’s lives are not exciting 100 percent of the time.  Heck even 30 percent of the time.  So people sometimes hide things or fudge some stuff to make their lives  seem more interesting .

Well, other people might think or do that, but not me.  100 percent all the time nothing but the truth here.  I don’t think it will be boring at all.

So, to prove this, I am going to tell you, in real-time, what is going on as I type out this post.

….Okay, so the TV is on near me.

And there is some music playing through my headphones that I’m currently wearing.

Headphones are a little uncomfortable, so let me adjust them.

Okay that’s better.

Um…..one of the cats is nearby.  Cleaning himself.  So, there’s that.

This is a good album.  These headphones make it sound great.

Um…hmm…not much else currently in the room.

………..Give me a minute.

Okay, well I found a coffee shop still open, so I swear I’m 100 percent right now just drinking coffee while I type.  Straight coffee.  No fancy half-caf or boysenberry infused tea or something like that for me.

Just coffee.

There’s some other people here.

Not many though.  Its pretty late.

Coffee guy running the place is giving me a look.  Not super friendly.

Wait he is saying something.

Typing too loud?  Seriously?

Well how do you like this coffee dude?

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

Yeah!  Loud enough for you?

 

Okay, I’m 100 percent truthfully typing this while lying in a gutter.  Luckily the WI-FI signal from the coffee shop is still strong even out here.

Like coffee dude.  Apparently the dude actually uses his gym membership.

Lifted me and this computer up like nothing to throw me out the door.

So much for the coffee.  As its currently lying next to me in the gutter.

Well, I guess I could go home.  It’s getting late.

Hold on.

There is a guy here.  Says he wants to show me something.

Please don’t have a white van.  Please don’t have a white van.

Okay no white van.  But definitely a familiar vehicle.

Holy crap…is that…

Yep.  A DeLorean.

Sweet.  Never seen one of these before in person.

Wait….he’s saying something.

NO WAY!

Seriously no way.  He can’t be serious.

 

I’m 100 percent seriously in the passenger seat of this guy’s DeLorean getting ready to go… back in time.

RIGHT!?  I didn’t think it was possible either.  Apparently its true though.

Just like the movie.  Well…not exactly.

Guy says you actually have to hit 90mph.

Okay, I’m going to keep typing as he puts it into gear.

Whoa this definitely has good acceleration.

HOLD ON!

 

 

I’m absolutely 100 percent truthfully typing this….

IN 1865!!!!!  THIS IS AMAZING!!

We decided to go back then because I told the guy I was a huge fan of Abraham Lincoln and wanted to meet him.

And now….oh…..wow.

It’s him.

Hold on a second.

 

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod I shook his hand.

Abraham….freakin….Lincoln.

This is the best feeling ever.  WOW.

DeLorean guy has rigged it to so that as long as I’m near the car I can still get WI-FI to keep typing this.  Remember 100 percent totally telling the truth here.

Oh c’mon.  Really?  Crap.

Guess we gotta go back.  Whole butterfly effect thing and everything. Guy said I really shouldn’t have shook Lincoln’s hand.

Whatever.

He’s just jealous that I shook Lincoln’s hand and he didn’t.

Okay, getting ready to go back.  Here we go again!

wowthisisreallyquickfeellikeimtypingatspeedoflight!

 

And back.

Ha!  Everything looks the same.

Yeah like I would really change the whole fabric of space and time from shaking someone’s hand dude.

….Wait.

I thought the coffee shop was on the left hand side of the road.

Now it’s on the right.

That’s weird.

Eh, whatever.  Must have not paid enough attention.

Well I’ll go…

Um.

Was that…

Crap.

 

I’m 100 percent for sure typing this while with DeLorean guy attempting to evade…the aliens.

Yep.  Aliens.

Stupid butterfly effect.

Getting a little bumpy.

FASTER!  GO FASTER MAN! ALIENS!!

YOU CAN SAY I TOLD YOU SO LATER!  FASTER MAN!

OUCHthisisabitroughOUCHcargoingfastbutOUCHkeepbumpingmyheadontheOUCHcar

Still amazing WI-FI signal though.

Wait…oh crap I forgot about the…

 

 

Well….back in 1865.

Again.

Remember the whole 90 mph time travel thing?

Forgot about that.  Apparently I was yelling so loud I didn’t hear DeLorean guy say we can’t go too fast without turning off the time machine part of the car.

Didn’t hear that.

So now back in time.  And of course…we are out of fuel.

Takes a lot to travel back and forth.  So it seems.

Well, the battery on the computer is fading here.

And I have I guess just a minute or too before the WI-FI signal shuts down because the battery is going to die on this car.  So gotta type this and hope it publishes before everything quits.

Probably didn’t think this through well enough.

I’m 100 percent for sure telling the truth when I say this sucks.

Big time.

But still.  I totally proved that telling the truth 100 percent of the time is exciting.  I mean look at all that happened just now!

Totally didn’t just make all that up while sitting at the computer staring at a screen.

Nope.  Not at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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