Okay, welcome and have a seat. We will get started here right away.
Cool. Never have done this before so definitely new experience here. I am pretty nervous but I really hope this works to find my someone special.
Yeah, that’s pretty much what they all say.
What was that?
Nothing. Let’s begin. First question: What is your name?
Starting off easy here….Dan.
Great. Last name?
This is the part where I lie right?
Any age that’s old enough to look experienced but young enough to not be grandpa-stature.
Well sure but not until it’s right.
…..You realize you aren’t the first, second, or even a millionth person to do that right?
I’m sure. Couldn’t help myself. Male.
Thank you. Although yours was different then a good amount of the answers. Looking for?
I’m being interviewed for a dating site. What do you think I’m looking for?
No, I mean are you looking for a relationship with a male, female, doesn’t matter?
Doesn’t matter? People can ask for relationships with what chimpanzees and horses or something?
Never mind that can you just answer the question?
Okay and where do you live?
United States. Or I suppose the planet Earth. Or Milky Way galaxy if you want to get technical.
Well I am already seeing why the relationship thing hasn’t been going your way. Interests?
Long walks on the beach, staring into each others eyes for hours at a time, and intellectual conversations.
Okay and now your real interests.
Walks that involve me getting from point A to point B as fast as possible, the ability to approach and ask women whom I consider attractive out on a date, and intellectual conversations….that revolve around movies seen and which superheroes or film horror figures could beat each other in a fight.
Perfect. And how do you see yourself in 5 years?
…Care to elaborate?
Sigh. Not making it easy here. What do you look for in a relationship?
Another living human being of the opposite sex. Though I’m not opposed to an alien from another planet living in the body of a human being. Which is already happening if you ask my next door neighbor. Considering how my next door neighbor is though I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the scout alien sent to determine whether they could live on this planet.
Well that was a new answer to that one. What do you do for a living?
This is where I lie again too right?
Exotic bird trainer to the stars. Underwear model on the weekends. Oh, and I’m also independently wealthy so I don’t even do these for the money.
Nice. Your best trait or characteristic?
My amazing six-pack abs.
And now your real best trait?
Sense of humor.
And now your real, real one.
Ability to put more than three coherent words together in a sentence. Most times.
Okay that’s all the questions I have. You are good to go.
That’s it? Wow well that was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Think I have a chance on finding someone after those answers?