The Post About the Language Thing

Greetings once again from your local rambler. Now appearing seven nights a week in places other than this blog.

As you know, my job entails me to work amongst millions of printed words and pages. Which will no doubt cause the death of me one day.  Likely the collected works of Kardashian clan members and historians attempting to explain why Kardashians are still a thing will crash down upon me after taking the 7 millionth corner too quickly while attempting to help someone find the book with the yellow cover. Purple?  Green?  They definitely know there was a cover.  And it almost certainly was covering pages.

Anyway, my point is that language and the use of it is still something we put a great amount of interest into. Course it has to be the right kind of language. Calling something “totes” cute or describing how last nights party was so “cray” is perfectly fine. Telling someone to go copulate with themselves using their own anatomy in such a way as to guarantee they win a medal in any limbo contest as there is no doubt they would have the ability to twist themselves into positions likely banned by the Geneva Conventions, not so much.

But it seems as if these battles over the use of various words and phrases is a little subjective.

Take a phrase like “climate change.”  On the surface it has a lot going for it. It’s almost equal in terms of the number of letters in each word. It’s got alliteration. Also it can be rearranged to say mega technical and teaching camel. And certainly no one would disagree that it’s mega technical while teaching camel. Everyone knows it’s hard to get over the hump.

Cue rim shot.

But ask a person of a particular political persuasion their personal preference professing the phrase and they will politely tell you to promptly peel a peach thereby promoting a perfectly professional piece of pre-profanity prior to parting.


But in all seriousness, (and we all know how serious this blog always is), we do often get hung up on the use of language.  It becomes a struggle to figure out what to say in a particular situation, whether this particular point or joke will go over well, or just how profound and witty the Rambler here is.  It can take a bit of time to accurately gauge the answers to these questions which unfortunately can affect the communication you can have with people.

Well except for the question regarding the Rambler.  Clearly he is the wittiest and most profound person on earth.

Not to mention his deep humility.

But today I offer one potential solution to this perplexing problem of potentially professing a point to ponder towards a person who perhapsOwOwOw okay fine I’ll stop doing the illiteration already.

We just need to be more honest and open with communicating with each other.  Yes it’s true we all won’t necessarily agree with each other, (except when it comes to saying that cheesecake is simply the best dessert period on the planet.)  Operating blogs like this allow for the ability to begin opening ourselves up to each other that we should try to continue in our personal communications.

In this spirit, may I offer you the honest fact that I’m currently writing this while wearing slippers shaped in the design of a cartoon character’s head.  Which I know makes me such an attractive sex symbol.

You can just go ahead and give me that magazine’subscription sexiest person of the year award now.

And now as part of my victory speech for winning such a prestigious award, may I say that while we certainly don’t have to tell our entire life story to that person we just met on the bus (whom I’m sure would love knowing that you chew each bite of your broccoli 79 times before swallowing), we can try to have fewer secrets with each other.  And hey, we may even find out that that stranger you just met also enjoys studying batting statistics for  new baseball players starting with a team from May 15-May 30th who also happen to start for that team on a leap year but only if the player is under the age of 23.

But I must be getting on now.  Time to go enjoy that new book I got.  You know the one.  With the pages and the characters and the plot about the thing.  With the blue cover.

You know which one I’m talking about.


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