You Know Me Better Than I Know Me

Greetings fellow readers of this…page?  Blog? Place of wacky humor and tired puns?  Collector of 80’s and 90’s nostalgic bits of comedy?  Perhaps all in one.  Inevitably something that, true to my nature, I would abuse or use for a time, then file away and forget in a desk drawer.  Mind you, not because of some desire to forget, but more due to my constant non-appreciation or belief in my ability to conjure up words and phrases that would be exciting or worthwhile for your eyes to peruse for a time.  Admittedly I believe that lack of self-confidence has extended to my relationships with other people, whether its due to my sometime belief I could not stand in their company or just some well placed defect in my mode of operation that causes me to lose the marrow built up while that friendship was formed and molded.  This is not written with the aim of sympathy, but merely to establish for, perhaps myself, a written record by which I can start to understand the things I do not do well and attempt to work on them.

Yet even more broadly, with life being the way it is, I can confess to both everyone and no one the failures, the dreams, the desires, the ultimate goals, tribulations, and existential crises of my life.  It can be done in a way that shades me from revealing exactly who I am, but laying bare the outline of the person I have chosen to represent.  Thus, I can write admittedly not great comedy bits in an attempt to entertain and hide in plain sight behind a joker’s mask.  But in so doing this, I don’t reveal to you a thing about me, though its unclear whether we as humans sometimes really do want to remove the rubber-banded mask entirely from our visages.  If a death like the comedian Robin Williams’ can teach us nothing else, it is that the most sorrowful eyes may burrow themselves deep beneath a smile of mirth and we would be wise to look for both if we are to begin to attempt to understand one another.  Human beings contain both a yin and a yang that are not polar opposites, but pieces that build to a complex version of ourselves.  We would do well to begin to find both within us, and find that person(s) that we can reveal them to.  Perhaps this…thing that I have begun building here might be my way to begin that process.  May you be able to have or find yours.

 

Till the next time,

The Rambler      

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