Headline Of A Day

As a member of the retail industry, it is always important to show your best face to the public at large, whether that’s by a smile on your face, a friendly tone of voice, or resisting your incessant need to tell that jerk in the café to stop getting potato chip remnants all over the magazines he hasn’t paid for yet.

By and large though, most people are not slobs and all, much like the books they buy, have stories to tell. Because I don’t often have the time to engage in prolonged conversations about these stories, they often come out like headlines; enough to get the gist of a story, but lacking the detail to understand the complete picture. As a reader here, you too will not have the ability to get a complete picture of what life is like for me either. One, you are simply far too busy as people to get complete paragraphs of detail about someone’s life all the time. Two, my story is often boring as hell.

However, in the interest of disclosure, may I present to you the headline version of a typical day of the Rambler. Enjoy while I find a polite way of reminding a guy for the seventh time that you can’t set up a lawn chair and an umbrella in the middle of the fiction section.

Waking Up Is Hard To Do For One Illinois Male

Chocolate Cereal: Sugared Diabetes or Sweet Deliciousness?

100% of Traffic Occurs Between Time You Leave The House Till You Get To Your Job, Study Finds

Coffee Reigns Once Again In Battle of World’s Best Inventions

Being Late: Why Fibbing To Your Boss May Be A Good Thing

Job Market Sees Potential Rise In Individual Unemployment Rate

Man Convicted of Thought Crime Against Alleged “Rude” Customer

$350 Sale Propels Music Department Over Café In Tight Contest

Report Shows People Believe Traffic Waits Till They Are Just Out of Work To Show Up

Decline In Personal Income Linked To Fast Food Happy Hour Deals

Film Has Great Front Cover, Huge Plot Holes

Chocolate Cereal Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

Insomnia: 21 Reasons Why Sugar Before Bedtime Is A Bad Idea

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