This(The Official Blog Title of This Blog)

     While driving home the other day drinking one of my favorite beverages, pop, (I know you were all thinking I was going to say beer), I happen to glance at the can while driving 45 miles an hour, (I know you thought I was going to say while stopped at a stoplight.)  On it while I was darting pedestrians was written that it was the official soft drink of the Chicago Bears.  Finding it rather funny that a sports team would choose a drink that is typically so loaded with sugar each 12 pack should come with a voucher for a free bottle of diabetes, I began to research to see what other “official” things were out there.  I quickly realized that we as a nation are unbelievably adept at naming official things. From the official snack food to the official bird to the official brand of facial tissue (I am not making this stuff up,) events and states just love to name stuff officially. 

     So, because I am the supreme master and commander of this piece of digital property (seriously get off of my non-existent lawn), I hereby designate the following official things:

Hello!  (The Official Greeting)
Ahoy!  (The Official Greeting of Pirates)
YOLO!  (The Official Greeting of Idiots)

Cheesecake (The Official Dessert)
10 pounds (The Official Amount of the Official Dessert I Would Likely Eat At One Time)
Ughhh (The Official Why The Hell Did I Do That Again Noise)

Lake Titicaca (The Official Funniest Word To Say Out Loud)
Chattanooga (The Official 2nd Funniest Word To Say Out Loud)
Assawoman, Virginia (The Official Wow…Just Wow Word To Say Out Loud)

Jazz (The Official Music Genre of This Blog)
Rock (The Official This Music Genre Works Too For This Blog)
Screamo (The Official What The @$#& Is This Music Genre)

I am awesome!  (The Official Declarative Sentence)
No seriously I am.  (The Official Justifying the Official Declarative Sentence)
Okay fine…meanie-head.  (The Official Way to Acknowledge Someone Calling You Out On Your Crap Like A Third Grader Sentence)

Please comment below on your “official” things. (The Official Trolling for Views and Comments)
Please? (The Official Won’t You Please Like Me?)
Thanks!  (The Official Thanks!)


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