An Unlikely Valentine’s Day Poem

In light of it being Valentine’s Day, I thought it only proper to offer some poetry for a misunderstood and lonely creature that I know. Without further ado, may I present to you:

An Ode To A Blinking Answering Machine Message Light

Oh blinking answering machine message light
I see you every day
Forlornly blinking and winking at me
Just wanting to go have your say

I feel your presence besides me
As I check out each customer in turn
I fear that you’ll judge my ignoring your voice
Your message always stays unreturned

For no one knows how to reach you
No one I know has the key
We haven’t got any instructions
To help bring you out and be free

I’ve tried and I’ve tried yet some more
To bring you the attention deserved
I’ve desired to unearth your secrets
But my energy now must be conserved

You’re a mysterious one, blinking message machine light
I wish I knew your story
Perhaps you are a call from afar
In regard to the store’s inventory

Or maybe someone from headquarters
Had a cheerful reminder to do
That our sales from last quarter were sagging
And our rewards memberships too

Could also be that one guy Tony
He never is pleased ’bout a thing
His complaints border the idiotic
I so wish I could step in a ring

And show him I’m tired of listening
To him talk about being so sore
If you hate us so much why then come here?
Your nothing but one giant bore

Of course in a flight of pure fancy
You’re the president wanting to know
How to fix what is ailing the country
And knowing why the right is his foe

But regrettably I am to wonder
For eternities forever to come
What you would like to say to me
And just where you’re calling from

I swear we’re intelligent people
Degrees and ideas out our ears
But we just can’t quite understand you
And so I must say that your fears

Of being forever alone are not fantasy
Not just a trick of your mind
For we have no idea how to play you
We are really in some kind of bind

Soon blinking light on the answering machine
The answer will be in our sight
But until then your work will never be done
Damn solution ain’t coming tonight


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