Hello and welcome to another addition of randomness from the Midwest! I know you have missed it.
…….Insert chirping cricket noise here.
Anyway, I come back to talk with you, and by you I mean myself cause it would be weird to actually be able to talk to you personally, about low testosterone.
…Oh wait that untested testosterone infomercial is next week. They can’t pay me any actual money but they do promise to provide me with increased manliness and the potential to keel over from a heart attack.
Or grow a third arm.
No today I bring you my musings over the great and wonderful and probably fairly drunk party known as the round objects of a precious metal variety award show.
Okay that is obviously not the name of the event but I tend to follow the U.S. senator Rand Paul school of fearing opportunities for men in black suits to come to my house. In my case though I prefer to avoid being sued for trademark infringement. I’m fairly certain Paul would believe they would come to take his guns, force feed him carrot sticks, and serve him a healthcare plan.
As it is, I don’t want to talk to you about what happened, or the winners, or the losers, or play the game of how many glasses of champagne did they drink before coming on stage.
I am here to talk about the clothes. Or more specifically the fact that there are so many NEWS articles written about the best and worst dressed stars at the award show. In between articles about the lack of a job market in the United States and a chemical spill that results in hundreds of thousands of people not being able to drink their own water, are articles about how the chiffon in someones dress did too much to wash someones skin color out.
Yes here in America we feel it is just as important to judge the clothing of people whose pocket change could buy a cartload of the frozen burritos I live off of, as it is to tell people about a severe environmental disaster that could have decades-long implications.
I would start to rant about the inherent insanity of thinking people really care about deciding how close to perfection a celebrity’s personal clothing choices to an award show is except for one thing.
By setting up this topic, I have hearby implicated myself in having actually taken the time to read these articles. Therefore how can I really judge those people that think these articles are important to read when I myself am one of the people that would be judged. By me. I feel the inception of an…inception coming on. Though now mentioning it is like a moment of inception am I unwillingly causing the inception to occur when not mentioning it could avoid an inception moment entirely? Or would not mentioning the inception moment of inception still cause inception to occur?
And now you feel the same as I did after watching that damn movie.
So I guess in conclusion…uh….well…I’m a bit of an entertaining hypocrite? There is no doubt another lesson here but my brain hurts too much now to figure it out. I think I better go lie down for a bit.
Probably on my back.
Think this third arm testosterone side effect thing might have actually been real.