Literally literal (Part 2)

Because I am a creature of habit, and also because there are really just so many of these weird phrases out there, I want to continue on something I started several posts ago highlighting various phrases in the English language that make absolutely no sense when you think of what they literally mean.

Really.  They make as much sense as monkey fly pipefitter.

Points if you got that joke.

1.  Phrase:  Barking up the wrong tree

     What It Means:  You are going in the wrong direction

     What My Literal Mind Thinks:  You have apparently become a dog who has a bad sense of direction.  Now please stop shedding all over the place and I’ll get you a gps. 

2.  Phrase:  Costs an arm and a leg

     What It Means:  Something is very expensive

    What My Literal Mind Thinks:  Not only do you apparently want people to keep a collection of severed arms and legs around, you also apparently know the market price for them.  So excuse me if I keep this butcher knife in my hand for protection while you are around me.

3.  Phrase: Chip On Your (His/Her) Shoulder

     What It Means:  Angry about something happening before

    What My Literal Mind Thinks:  How do you not see that there?  And what kind of chip is that?  Chocolate?  Computer?  Wood? Pretty sure you should get that checked out or something.

4.  Phrase:  Hit the books

    What it means:  To study

    What my literal mind thinks:  You have an anger problem with inatimate objects. Kindly stay away from my library.  I don’t need you Mike Tysoning all of my novels.

5.  Phrase:  Lend me your ear

    What It Means:  Give me your attention

    What My Literal Mind Thinks:  Actually I have grown quite attached to my ears thanks.  And do you expect to give it back to me or something?  Ask the arm and leg guy for one.  I’m sure he has some somewhere. 

I would tell more, but I’m afraid too many will cause me to stop making literal sense.  That may just be bogged giant earth football pizza though.

 

Advertisements

Published by: djc84

30 something with midwest roots looking to entertain...inspire...and analyze the world that surrounds us firmly believing that what is inside is often much more interesting and revelatory than what outwardly appears.

Categories humorTagsLeave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s