Generically General

As a part of my job, and really this is true just about everywhere for everyone, I like to greet people.

“Hi! How are you doing?”

……

Uh, you were supposed to say how you were doing.

Rude much?

Anyway, when I greet people, they are usually nice to me, and answer back with some wonderfully descriptive words to tell me how they are.

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

Alright, let’s all admit that we  have and still probably say this when people ask us.

Go on, raise your hand.

Oh, don’t get me started, you in the back there.

Yeah, you.

Like I can’t see you not raising your hand.  I’m six foot five.

I can tell.

As you have come to begin to find out now, I am a fan of language and how it’s used or misused.

And terrible jokes.  I enjoy telling terrible jokes.

Oh, did you hear the one about the rabbit?  Okay, so this guy goes into the woods….

….Did I mention my ADD?

Anyway, we often are extremely generic when talking to other people.  In the end, what does “good” really mean?  Or “okay?”  Or “fine?”

It leaves a lot out.

“Oh, I’m doing good.  Of course, I slammed my foot in the door, walked into the beehive by my garage, started running all over the place with the bees chasing me till I ran into a pool, which helped chase away the bees, only then I realized the pool had WAY too much chlorine in it, which started stinging my eyes, calling me to flail about blindly before I accidentally smacked my 94 year old neighbor in the head.  But I found a penny on the ground on the way in, so I’m good as far as you are concerned.”

It’s sad that we don’t seem to care enough about each other to really want to know how other people are doing.

Thus, in my infinite wisdom, I have my personal solution to this generic-ness disease we are inflicted with.

No, you can’t take an aspirin and call me in the morning.

Alright, if you are going to call, make it after ten.  Some people like to sleep a little bit.

So what is this magical cure you ask?  Simple.

Every time someone utters some generic phrase, I should have the right to Wikipedia it to something better.

An example:

I’m doing fine.  It was an okay day today.  Things are good.

I’m doing fine (Last edited 4/3/12 at 12:42pm)  well once I removed that shark from my left ear after I waded into the ocean with that bit of blood on it from where I attempted to pierce my own ears.  It was an okay (Last edited 4/3/12 at 12:45pm) a slightly less painful end to my day after I also completely forgot my suntan lotion and literally toasted to the point where I looked like a turkey cooked at 375 degrees for five hours.  Things are good (Last edited 4/3/12 at 12:47pm) will be much better for me once I baste myself in aloe vera gel and sleep standing up for the next five days.

Even if it doesn’t solve the problem of people being too generic, it will at least make things more entertaining.

Hope you have a good….I mean wonderful night.

 

 

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Published by: djc84

30 something with midwest roots looking to entertain...inspire...and analyze the world that surrounds us firmly believing that what is inside is often much more interesting and revelatory than what outwardly appears.

Categories humor, opinionTagsLeave a comment

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